The Get Out of Jail Free Meme, Part One

Today we ripped off a blogger named Pookie 808 called Pookie808. We will do it in two parts. Where she got it, we have no idea. But this is someone who could not come up a separate screen name and a blog name. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft’s thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player’s posts. It’s a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The Get Out of Jail Free Meme, Part One

1. When you’re home alone, do you still close the door when you use the restroom?

~Hell no. I don’t even wear clothes (oops … tmi?? :roll:)

2. If you have to go grocery shopping, would you rather go alone or with someone?

~I’d rather sleep, but if i HAVE TO go, I’d prefer going alone so I can get the bare ESSENTIALS.

3. It’s your best friends birthday, would you buy them a gift even though they didn’t buy you one for yours

~Yeah. I would get him a box neatly wrapped with nothing and a card that says “Consider this a lesson in kindness” 🙂

4. You win the lottery. Lump sum or small payments over a period? Why?

~I’ve been planning for that day since I could spell lottery. Definitely lump sum. How else am I going to buy my island? You ever heard anyone buying an island in installments??

5. Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level?

~Depends on the music. Rock/Alternative – LOUD. Souls/R&B/Classical etc – Reasonable level. What is a reasonable level btw? Isn’t that subjective? If my radio volume knob stops at 10, and I put it at 8, that could be a reasonable level for me 🙂

6. Are you a beach person or a snowy mountain person?

~hmm …

beach: get eaten by crabs. stung by sting rays or sea snakes or electrocuted by box jellyfishes

snowy mountain: roll off the snowy hill. covered by an avalanche.

Conclusion: Beach Person

7. When do you brush your teeth?

~Seriously?? Once, in the mornings. Everyone knows that!!

8. Can you watch scary movies alone?

~What am I 10y/o? Honey, do you wanna watch The Exorcist with me??

9. Soft bed or firm? And in fantasy land, who’s in it with you?

~Firm. A love nest with Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry and Gabrielle Union. Oh WOW!!!

10. Would you rather stay home all day, or be out and about?

~That’s a tricky one. I like being out and about, but I get nostalgic so easily 😦

11. What’s one of your worst memories (that you are comfortable sharing)?

~My company had a sports day and i decided to compete in a race. Being very confident, I was the crowd favorite, so naturally I thought I would win. A quarter way to the finish line it was all a blur.

When I opened my eyes, all i saw was my lips clutching the asphalt. My ego wasn’t the only thing bruised that day – elbows, shin, knees, knuckles, instep, toes … did I miss any ... I think I covered them all 😦

12. Do you like to keep the peace or be confrontational?

~At first I use to be confrontational, now I keep the peace. Peace!

13. Are you more likely to be with a large group of people or a few close friends?

~Large group. I have to be the center of attention, and the attention I seek is always a large crowd.

14. What are your plans for October?

~Celebrate my wife’s birthday and surprise her everyday in the month 😀

15. If money were not a problem, where would you like to live?

~On another habitable planet

16. What is your ideal profession?

~Prophet! I joke I joke. An actor 😉

17. Are you (or were you) close to your Mom and Dad?

~As close as tick to a dog’s posterior.

18. What is one fear that you can’t seem to overcome?

~Fear of Fear. 😀 How do you overcome THAT!?

19. Are you good at math?

~Who is? 😆

20. Editor’s note. There is no question 20. It is sort of like getting a “Get out of Jail Free” card. We will do 21 to 40 next time. Peace & love!

Baby Alert: Shakira Backup Dancer

My wife showed me this video last night and I was literally rolling on the floor with laughter. Babies are the cutest little things!

Thought I’d share. Enjoy!

Cosmology 101: The Death of Pluto

Image via BBC

Ladies and gentlemen. We are gathered here today to commemorate the death of one of ‘The Nine’. He has been apart of our family and in our hearts from the first day we stepped into science class in High School. In science class, our teacher, in trying to help us remember The Nine, would use the famous mnemonic :

“My Very Educated Mother, Just Showed Us Nine Planets/Potatoes/Pineapples”

M = Mercury

V = Venus

E = Earth

M = Mars

J = Jupiter

S = Saturn

U = Uranus

N = Neptune

P = Pluto

Sad to say, Pluto is no more! He’s not dead, he’s just not recognized as a planet. Astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson and the International Astronomical Union decided to strip Pluto of its planetary status based on a new definition of planets.

In essence, a planet is a body that dominates its environment. Which means that it should be the largest body in the area it orbits. Pluto’s moon is half the size of the planet. To put that into perspective, think of Earth’s moon being just half the size of Earth.

My biggest concern though is what will become of the mnemonic we’ve cemented in our minds. ‘My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine ….’ just seems incomplete. I can see an innocent child waiting in vain for you to complete that sentence 😦

Au revoir Pluto. Vous allez nous manquer. (Goodbye Pluto. We will miss you)

Related articles

• Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson on killing Pluto: ‘All I did was drive the getaway car’ (theverge.com)

The Never Ending Meme Pt. 2

Today we ripped off a blogger named Tense Teacher of the blog Tense for a Reason. (Yes we know that we’ve ripped her off not so long ago as well. It’s pretty amazing since she stopped posting in 2007. But that’s where we live as a thief). Also, it’s long so we’ll do it in parts. She does not say where she got it from. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft’s thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player’s posts. It’s a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The Never Ending Meme, Part Two

Cheers to all of us thieves!

The Never Ending Meme Pt. 1

21. Did you go to your high school prom?

~ I skipped that and went to the girls house instead 😉

22. Perfect time to wake up?

~ Around 12pm

23. Perfect time to go to bed?

~ 3 or 4am 🙂

24. Do you use your queen right away in chess?

~ There are queens in chess?

25. Ever been in a car accident?

~ My best friends and I were coming from a party. They were sleeping and I was driving. When I woke up the car was upside down 😦

26. Closer to mom or dad…or neither?

~ Mom 😀

27. What age is this exciting life over for you?

~ Who ever said that I’m going to die!?

28. What decade during the 20th century would you have chosen to be a teenager?

~ 1960 … don’t ask me why. I don’t even know myself

29. Favorite shoes you have EVER owned?

~ Timberland

30. Do you have an article of clothing you have had since you were in high school?

~ Seriously dude? Who doesn’t?

31. Were you in track and field?

~ Yes, in preschool, but as soon as I hit high school and noticed how fast the other students were, I quickly lost interest.

32. Were you ever in a school talent show?

~ Oh yes. Shakespeare wrote his plays with me in mind 🙂

33. Have you ever written in a library book?

~ NO! What self-righteous teenage would ever destroy school property like that! You’re a moron for even asking that

34. Allergic to?

~ Death. Whenever something bad is about to happen,I get huge rashes and sneeze profusely.

35. Favorite fruit?

~ Banana

The Community Meme

Today we ripped off a blogger named Tom Baker from the blog Morning Erection. (Tom points out that you shouldn’t read much into his blog’s name. It’s a great blog.) This is an original meme and it’s very first time posted. Tom asked us to rip it off and of course we are grateful! Take the time to comment on other player’s posts. It’s a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The Community Meme

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. As a blogger, what do you draw inspirations from for your posts?

~ I draw inspiration from everyday idiots. For example, someone idiot see’s a sign CAUTION: Men at work, then that idiot ignores the sign and gets fucked up. I’m instantly inspired!

2. If you could swap blogs with another blogger for a post, who would you switch with and why?

~ I’ve known this dude for twenty-odd years now. He’s fun, cool and uber smart. What’s the name of his blog again … Love Thought something. I can’t seem to remember. Bummer!

3. If your blog had a theme song, what would it be? Why?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPuXvpkOLmM

~ My blog is crazy like the music video and my posts are ramblings on whatever is on my mind. I try to be as objective as I can, but most times sometimes I get a tad emotional 🙂

4. What is your writing process for a post?

~ It’s a simple one. Circle the blogosphere for blogs I can rip off. 

5. Your blog requires a cute, new, mascot – what would it be?

~ This guy:

… because he totally rocks!!

6. Do you feel you express your “true self” on your blog?

~ Ha Ha Ha…..of course!!

7. What is your biggest online pet-peeve?

~ Doing questionnaires like these 

8. If you could live in a fictional universe, where would you live? Why?

~ A woman’s mind man! Because some weird, magical shit happens there!! Things that are unfathomable by anyone except other women!

9. You’re having a bad day, you’re upset, you’re angry, or you’re sad – what is your go-to comfort?

~ I find GREAT solace in throwing darts (or something with a saw) at pictures of my ex 🙂

10. What is your favorite inspirational quote?

11. If they were to make a movie based on your life, who would play you, your leading lady/man, your best friend, and your rival?

~ Who on earth could play me better than ME? My leading lady would be Jennifer Aniston. Best friend Will Smith and my rival would be Shemar Moore

12. Do you think the world is going to end in 2012?

~ I thought it was going to end in 2000.

13. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?

~ The length of my schlong. I realise that 3.6in is not sufficient to have a mind blowing orgasm when I’m masturbating 😦

14. What is your favorite season and why?

~ Christmas Of Course! Because I get to give gifts like these to bastards friends.

15. You’ve been bitten by a vampire. Would you fight it with all your undead being or would you embrace it for all it is worth?

~ I’m not sure. Every time I watch Vampire Diaries I keep biting my girlfriend on her neck. Probably it would be best if you direct this question to her.

16. Have you personally met any of your blogger friends?

~ I met CJ some months aback. Lafemme and I frequently meet at our favourite digital bush and I don’t need to meet Lizzie, because she’s a click away.

17. What does your favorite pair of underwear look like?

… What?! I did say it’s my favourite!!

18. Have you ever drank something right from the container in the refrigerator knowing other people will have to drink out of the same container later?

~ Yes

19. What is your favorite word and explain why?

~ Verklempt! I learned it the other day from Lizzie, and because it’s one of those words that looks made up 🙂

20. 2011 is soon coming to a close, is there anything you’d like to do different on your blog in the year 2012?

~ MAYBE I’ll post less risque material … NOT!!

Mooowaaahhhhaaahaaa

GREAT Christmas Gift Ideas

If like me, you’re puzzled on what to get a loved one for Christmas, then look no further. I have compiled a list of Christmas items that are guaranteed to make your loved one verklempt!!

Items courtesy of Uncommon Goods

For Her

Bullet Casing Bracelet

If you’re a gun enthusiast and you collect your bullet casings (for whatever strange reason – maybe you have bullet-o-phobia: the fear of losing your bullet casing and letting them fall into the wrong hands) and you’ve always wondered what you’re going to do with them. Then construct a Bullet Casing Bracelet for your lover. That way it will be in (or ON, rather) good hands and close to home.

Bouquet Glove

Are you a hopeless romantic but you’re tired of the traditional roses that die over time. Then get her a Bouquet Glove. Every time she wears your glove, she’ll see those roses and a frown smile will light her face as she thinks about killing kissing you.

Sweater Skirt

If your woman is annoyed at the sweaters her mother send her every Holiday, then do her a favour. Rip up those hideous beautifully knitted sweaters and combine them all to make a beautiful skirt for her. She’ll appreciate it more coming from you because face it, Christmas is NOT about  complaining about crappy gifts you receive. It’s the thought that counts, right? 

Scrabble Jewellery

If you’re like me and you have a lot of trash treasure in your basement (like pieces of scrabble letters), then put those shit treasures to good use. You heard her hint time and time again that she needs a necklace. Scrabble Jewellery would be a pleasant surprise. Trust me 😉

Goggles Umbrella

I can’t tell you how much I hate not being able to see where I’m going during a heavy downpour! Nothing ticks me off more! Thank God for the genius that thought of the Goggles Umbrella!

Chocolate Stick

Is she hopelessly addicted to chocolate and its beginning to show around the mid section? As a concerned man, you want to tell her that she should loose weight, but you’re afraid to (you’re probably right). Get her the Chocolate Stick instead. It has the same scent with a lot less calories (it’s a safer alternative too).

For Him

Bacon Lube

Does your man love bacon more than you? Get him to share the love this Christmas with a tube of Bacon Lube. That way, he’ll be with both of his loves. What more could a man ask for? Let’s hope he doesn’t take the lube, kiss you on the forehead and go lock himself up in the bathroom 😦

Wooden Tie

He has a vast tie collection. Partly because he only requested ties for the Christmas. The stores are running out of ties to sell you. Put that hand saw in the garage that he never uses to some good use. For a more personal touch, you can carve his initials into his Wooden Tie, that way no one would dare try and steal it!

Toothpaste Wringer

Think he’s a cheap bastard frugal person, then maybe he’ll get the point if you get him the Toothpaste Wringer, or maybe your plans could backfire and he thinks the world of you for getting him a gift that facilitates his cheap bastardly economical way of life.

Perched Parrot

Do you think he talks incessantly? Does he opt to fix everything (or tries to) that is broken (or not). Then the perfect gift for him would be the Perched Parrot.

And last but certainly not least. For those people that has everything in the world, you can get them the one thing that they weren’t expecting – The Gift of Nothing. It’s only £4.

Gift of Nothing

So that’s it folks. I really hope it’s not too late to go and get something from the list for your loved one. To see them boil with rage that sparkle in their eye on Christmas Morning when they open their gift would be worth the trouble you took. With that said, I bid thee all a Merry Christmas!

The Blue Memory Meme, Part Two

Today we ripped off a blogger and blog called BlueLifeMemories. It’s long so we will do it in two parts. She states she stole it from a friend, but did not say which friend. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft’s thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player’s posts. It’s a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Cheers to all of us thieves!

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

~ Of Course I am. There’s nothing better than being a couch potato structured procrastinator.

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

~ Sirens; Ohh, Don’t stop!!

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?

~ What if she realize that when I say “mhmm, yes dear”, I’m not actually listening to her.

29) Do you believe in ghosts?

~ I saw an apparition once of my dead dog, but that could be attributed to my marijuana abuse.

30) How about aliens?

~ That’s my neighbor. Now you answer that silly question!!

31) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

~ I got admitted into Marijuana Anonymous. We are allowed to smoke all we want there.

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

~ My boss’ office 😦

33) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Lada Gaga - Caution

Unnamed Guy - Spiderman

~ I sincerely hope so 🙂

34) Most attractive actor of your opposite gender?

Angelina Jolie

Jennifer Aniston

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

~ Having FUN – drinking beer, having wild orgies. A little beastiality now and then.

36) Define “Art”.

~ Waking up to see an empty beer bottle in one hand and a paint brush in the other. Looked through your window at your neighbors garage door to see a caricature of him sucking a …… Popsicle 🙂

37) Do you believe in luck?

~ Well, just yesterday I found a $100 on my way to the museum. You could say I was damn lucky that that person left it there for me to find it.

38) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

~ LOTS of ORAL 😉

39) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

~ Ohhh those memories!! Wild chick!!

40) Where were you yesterday?

~ In jail. Got arrested for SUI (swearing under the influence) at the officer who was issuing me a ticket for DUI (driving under the influence).

41) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

~ I was filing some papers at work and got a paper cut!! I went straight to the shredder and took out my revenge on that POS paper!!!

42) Do you have any obsessions right now?

~ I obsessed with blog STATS

and perm 😦

Kat Williams

43) What’s up?

~ I can’t tell you right now 😉

44) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

~ That my schlong is 8.5 inches long :). Turns out it’s actually 5.8in 😦

45) Do you believe in real magic?

~ YES!! Once my boss suspended me, and I wished he got ran over by a car. Turns out someone nipped his bumper that day 🙂

46) Do you ever hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

~ Of course!!! If I turn the other cheek, I might get slapped on that one too

47) What’s your favorite (non-pet) animal?

~ TIGERS!!

48) What is your secret weapon to get people to like you?

~ My unmatched charm. If that doesn’t work, there’s always voodoo 🙂

49) Where is your best friend?

~ He should be at school. But knowing him, he’s probably having a threesome.

50) What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Ozzy OSBOURNE

~ Shh..It’s still our secret my friend.

 

The Blue Memory Meme, Part One

Today we ripped off a blogger and blog called BlueLifeMemories. It’s long so we will do it in two parts. She states she stole it from a friend, but did not say which friend. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft’s thieves might take some time. 

Sunday Stealing: The Blue Memory Meme, Part One

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

~ Sorry, I would get World Fright 😦

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

~ I would love to meet Will Smith, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston and Idris Elba 🙂

3) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

~ Definitely Dubai!

4) What do you think about most?

~ Women … no Sex … no Food … Can I combine all three?

5) You have the opportunity to spend a romantic night with the music celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

~ Hmm… I’m afraid to say Rihanna because Chris Brown might wanna beat me up 😦

6) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

~ Getting a Windows PC instead of a MAC 😦

7) What’s your strangest talent?

~ Voluntary muscle spasm. LOL. Freak!!

8) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

~ Dude, are you a nymphomaniac??

Ans: NO I’m NOT!! (that wasn’t so hard)

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

~ Yeah, a two-liner:

“you suck and I hate you”

“But you do it so well”

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

~ I just googled “Air Guitar”

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

~ Why are you asking me this again for people to judge me all over again. FEAR-O-PHOBIA.

12) What’s your religion?

~ Live-A-happy-Life Ministries. We worship everyday.

13) What is your current desktop picture?

~ ….. (that was intentional because my desktop is solid black)

14) When you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

~ Masterbating

15) What’s the last song you listened to?

~ Freaky Like Me

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

~ Linkin Park

17) What was the last lie you told?

~ I don’t lie 🙂

18) Do you believe in karma?

~ Erm … Yeah

19) What is a saying you say a lot?

~ If you touch the remote I’m gonna leave your ass!

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

~ Oh God … I’m too impulsive BUT I’m very fun to be around 🙂

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

~ Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, Rihanna.

22) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.

~ Fragile

23) How do you vent your anger?

~ Rock Music (isn’t that shit ironic)

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

~ Condoms

25) What is your favorite word?

~ Raas (it’s a local curse)