I needed to get off the base because colonel was pissing me off about messing up the parade earlier.
I went to the nearest bar to clear my head. I went to my favorite spot.
The spot where my back was squared against the wall giving me a perfect view of the entire bar.
Some would say I’m paranoid, but I think it’s my military training and the time I spent in Iraq.
I was on my third Cuban and fifth glass of scotch and ready to leave when I saw her, or rather her legs. Long, sexy and toned.
My eyes crept slowly up from her red Christian Louboutin pumps and paused right below her ass where her black laced mini dress stopped.
Her pose captured the attention of all the men in the bar. She sat seductively and invitingly on the bar stool. She looked around and then ordered a dirty martini. Within minutes, three vultures surrounded her and were picking away at her. She looked uninterested and annoyed.
I signaled Bruce, the bartender, to give the mysterious woman a Flirtini. I waved to her when Bruce pointed to me. Ten minutes later I went over. With one hand placed gently on her hip, I whispered in her ear “I’m here to rescue you from these losers”.
She smiled and I led her to my corner.
Hours rolled by in seconds. We talked and laughed like two seasoned lovers. I could tell that she was drunk and horny and I was approaching my quota. She kept rubbing her leg up and down my calf as she licked up the juice that dripped down her fingers from the pineapple, each time inching closer and closer to my dirty banana.
I told her it’s time to go.
She asked, my place our yours?
I said mine.
On our way to my place, she took off her panties and threw it in my lap. I almost crashed.
We barely got through the front when her hand was down my pants and her tongue down my throat.
I pinned her to the front door and slipped my middle finger into her very fertile land.
Her mounds stared firmly at me. She massaged the dirty banana with her tongue for 10mins then she led it by its head into the fertile land of wonders.
I explored the depths of the oasis for about an hour or two. On the leather sofa, the staircase, against the bookshelf, the kitchen counter and ended in the bedroom.
We I was exhausted. I fell asleep on the bedroom floor.
The following morning, I woke to find her gone. That was expected, but what I didn’t expect to see was an empty space where my 72inch plasma once hung, replaced by a note saying:
PLASMA WAS HERE!