Men – Get A Clue!!

Why are men so selfish? Most MEN would LOVE a THREESOME. You, sandwiched by your wife and some random rolled off the red carpet hottie. That sounds quite divine!

ThreesomeBut what if your woman wants to indulge in such a delicacy too. Sandwiched by Troy superstar and heartthrob Brad Pitt and the hunk with no junk badboy Hugh Jackman. What would you say then? Brad Pitt

Hugh Jackman

Excluding the few men that wouldn’t have a problem, the others would suffer from Schlong-O-Phobia (the fear of all schlongs but your own) or some would complain of having a severe Allergic Reaction (the thought or sight of other schlongs except one’s own, causes rashes). What’s up with that?

And guys, what’s up with the ONE-SIDED CHEATING EXPERIMENTING? If you want to cheat experiment, why not have a talk with your person and come to some form of arrangement. You guys can have each other during the week and you cheat experiment (I can’t seem to get that right) on weekends and/or public holidays, or whatever works for you. Tiger Woods

 

Tiger Woods didn’t make any arrangement with his wife and look how well that worked out.

 

Why do you guys have to be all secretive about it? Is it because most men are insecure? Are you guys fearful that if there is in fact some agreement, your woman might actually grow fond of the third party’s schlong over your own?

 

And another thing. What’s up with getting your schlong sucked and not returning the favor??? Do you think that schlong choking was a mandatory requirement when you guys hooked up? I wonder what that second date was like:

Guy: After deep thought I’ve come to the realization that this relation is NOt HEADing in the right place.

Girl: What?! Are you breaking up with me?

Guy: Yes. It’s definitely not me. It’s YOU. My expectations were clearly too high 😦

Girl: What expectation??

Guy: You don’t suck, and I just can’t have that. I’m sorry.

Girl: (splashes water in guy’s face) Storms off shouting DICK!!

Guys, if your woman decides on trying out your flavor popsicle, then you’re OBLIGATED to try hers!! (tootsie roll, that is). She likes it too!!! HELLOOOO!!! OrgasmCan I get a HAL-LEU-ER please!? She probably don’t bitch about it as much as you do (out loud that is), butΒ  chances are she’ll enjoy it even more than you do.

N.B. Whenever your woman is trying your popsicle and you feel teeth (ouch!!), thats the time she’s cussing you in her head and got distracted. “Selfish fucker!! Oops! Sorry honey!”

To conclude, Men …

… the selfish thing is SO last year!

 

20 thoughts on “Men – Get A Clue!!

  1. This post ROCKS with some KICK ASS hit the nail on the head insight. OMG i need to make sure I have Depends on before I come here and of course I Google+1 not only becasue I just can but because this post ROCKS. I said that twice I know but I did it on purpose. I totally could relate to the female perspective and you colored it funny instead of annoyingly piggish. Yay!!! Well worth the wait I say.
    πŸ™‚ Peace

    • Yippie!! Depends. Really?! LOL. I’m sooo glad I added that Google+1 sharing option (even though you’re the only one that use it :() Glad you liked the post. Spent all of 15mins on it πŸ™‚

      • 15 mins huh…..hmmmm so if this post got circulated as much as it really should – would it be your 15 minutes of fame? Curious. My last almost next ex husband hahahahahaha oh I can’t even begin to explain – like you could have called it JimBob* – Get a Clue! Well cept for the threesome thing.
        πŸ™‚ Peace

        * not his real name I hope you know!

      • If i got my 15mins of fame does that mean I would have to confess that it actually took longer than 15 mins? Would they take away my prize 😦 LOL @ JimBob. I hope I will get an explanation SOME day πŸ™‚

  2. That Tiger Wood picture was epic! I can’t even imagine how his arrengement would have been like: “Honey let’s get an arrangement; you can sleep with other guys and I can sleep with other women… and by women I mean whores… Oh and by “sleep with” I mean have sex in dark alleys and public restrooms.” His wife’s face would be just epic! πŸ˜€

  3. The threesome is an experience to be shared between a couple and not just something to satisfy one person’s desires. Far as am I’m concerned, if baby girl grants me a threesome, she gets one in return, no questions asked.

    Ah, that whole oral thing… let’s see, do I really wanna go there with how selfish both men and women can be about this? That “you do it to me but I won’t do it to you” dumb shit that can fuck up a good relationship? Nah, not tonight – I have a headache…

  4. I agree with u on all your points, but funny enough understand the other view. I think society dictates that women should remain chaste and not indulge in certain types of activities. In high school all girls are virgins but the boys are not, kinda make u wonder who they having sex with. That is just how society is, women enjoying sex is unthinkable but men can run wid it. I like this πŸ˜€

  5. Very nice post. I couldn’t agree more with you on the matter of oral sex. My philosophy is “Give and you shall receive”.
    And about the threesome thing: been there, done that, got the T-shirt. I can tell you: It is much overrated.

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