The Role of a Father

Image courtesy of lafamiliapawn.com

The role of a father is vital and paramount in determining how our children turn out. Don’t get me wrong, a mother’s role is as important in any family, hands down, but studies have shown that when a father is missing from a household, the likelihood of the children, especially the boys, acting out increases.

Did you know that:

  • the frequency of fathers that read to their children increases their children’s interest in books
  • fathers exert greater education influence than mothers on boys’ educational choices
  • fathers who are involved, nurturing and playful with their infants have children with highers IQs as well as better linguistic and cognitive capacities
  • 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes.  (Criminal Justice & Behavior Vol 14. p 403-26)
  • 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions come from fatherless homes (U.S. Dept of Justice, Special Report, 1988)
  • 85% of youths in prison grew up in fatherless homes

So how can we address this problem?

Firstly, the decision to have a child should be thought through in its entirety with your partner. Children are not accessories you pick up at the store. If you decide to become a parent, that child is your responsibility. You must do all that you can to ensure that that child has a bright and positive future. Parents should listen to their children. Give them chores at all levels to teach responsibility. Spend time doing the things they love to do — if the child is more interested in the performing arts, don’t force him/her to watch football every Sunday.

In closing, I leave you with two quotes:

It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.

~Ann Landers

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

~Theodore Hesburgh

 

Until next time…Namaste!

 

Psychopath | Affairs of the heart

Image courtesy of wikimedia,org

My friend shared a very upsetting story with me the other day. The entire story is repulsive, but what was more shocking was the highlighted part:

A three-year-old girl suffered a fatal brain injury after her head was allegedly slammed against a wall by her mother’s boyfriend.

‘Bright and bubbly’ Lylah Aaron was kicked, slapped and punched in the head by Delroy Catwell, Sheffield Crown Court heard.

Catwell is said to have been jealous that the toddler was getting more attention from her mother than he was.

Lylah was found to have four broken ribs and the prosecution claim she was assaulted by Catwell several weeks before she died in February.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2471379/Sheffield-girl-Lylah-Aaron-3-killed-mothers-jealous-boyfriend-Delroy-Catwell-slammed-head-wall.html#ixzz2iwIAe8Zj 
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After reading the article I started thinking, why would a woman be with a man (I use that word very loosely) like that? Weren’t there signs that he was an insecure psychopath?

How low on the evolution spectrum can you be to feel jealous of a three-year old child to the point where you feel the need to abuse that child to death!!

I noticed that when dealing with affairs of the heart, people tend to be a tad irrational — I’m guilty as charged in that regard. We find ourselves hooking up with people that are far from ‘ideal’ and doing things that we never thought we would or could ever do. But can someone be so smitten and blinded by love that they put up and turn a blind eye to certain deviant behavior? Now matter how good we are at deception, our true self will be revealed in time. There must have been some signs that would suggest that the man is a psychopath. Right?

Just sharing my meandering thoughts.

Until next time … namaste!

 

Molly Popping

Image courtesy of frankzones.com

 

Do you think that musicians have a social responsibility to ensure that the type of songs they sing does not send the wrong message to our impressionable youths?

Lately in the hip-hop/rap realm, I’ve noticed a few artists singing about “molly”. If you’re not aware, molly is an illegal drug — purest form of ecstasy. It started in the underground rave scene but now its has become wildly popular among teenagers and college kids.

Songs like “All Gold Everything” by Trinidad James or “Molly” by Tyga makes it seem cool to take this drug. We know that kids like to experiment, so when they hear their favorite rapper singing about it and their friends talking about it, they might want to try it as well — just for the experience. Molly gets you high for about two to three hours. It has no smell. The only obvious sign is that it makes you dehydrated and withdrawn.

There are so many dangers in the world today that parents are having a hard time keeping track. It seems like the only sure way to protect your child is to either keep them in a bubble like the Bubble Boy or tail them wherever they go. Extreme, I know. But given the proliferation of threats that are popping up what choice does a parent have.

Here are the two songs I mentioned earlier.

Trinidad James – All Gold Everything

Tyga – Molly

Until Next time.

-Namaste

Dedicated to all good men

Most of my post have been about equal rights to all especially towards women and others who are different from us. Someone made a comment on one of my post accusing me of being a “feministic moron”. I deleted it. Although I believe  everyone is entitled to their own opinion and not everyone will agree with what I have to say and I have no control over that. I accept that. But what I do have control over is my blog, and what gets accepted :). I will not entertain any negativity on my blog space.

Everyone loves their mother, but what about the fathers? There are some really GOOD men out there and then some. I often hear women complain about not finding the right man, or that they’re giving up on relationships because the last one they were in was shitty. I think sometimes our expectations are too high – he’s not handsome enough, or tall enough or muscular enough. Look past the surface. Is he kind to others? Does he treat and respect women? How does he treat his mother (very telling)? Does he cook? etc.

Image via Glenmuir.com

My father is awesome. He taught me the value of hard work. He was strict (when needs be). He always showed interest in my school work, whether he understood it or not. That man would beat me silly to take school word seriously. In retrospect, that’s kind of why I’m where I am in my life now. He understood the value of education (even though his stopped at junior high). He was always around and he took good care of me as a child. The things he taught me I will pass on to my son (or daughter). I will be the best husband and father I can be because of him.

Without a father in the house, it’s easy for a child to turn towards violence. Granted it’s possible to bring up a good child as a single parent, but it’s much harder. So this post is for all the good men out there. Those that stick to it through thick and thin. Those that make time for their child/children and wife. Those that don’t abuse their woman or any other woman.

PS: Ladies, if you’re complaining about not finding the right man or that there are no good man out there, get off you high horse. YOUR right man might be closer than you think.

Respect and love to all the GOOD men out there.

Peace!

The Man in My Life

Stubborn, Feisty, Troublesome, Smart.

Just a few words that described me as a child.

 

Study your book. Keep out of trouble.

But trouble follows me wherever I go. How can trouble keep out of it?

You clenched the belt as you asked Did you throw a stone in the man’s car?

Tears filled my eyes as you swung….

I hate you! Why don’t you just die and leave me alone!

 

You drove me to school every morning.

Brought me home every evening.

You were far from affluent, yet my stomach hardly ever growled.

Are you hungry? Thirsty? You asked.

What are you gonna eat I asked.

I’m OK. You replied.

 

In retrospect, I’m happy you didn’t die.

Happy you treated me the way you did.

You made me the man I am today.

The father I will be in the future.

 

I hardly say it …

I love you….DAD