I promised I’d write this for Poh Ching a long time ago and it’s finally time I live up to this! In this entry, I’d like to take some time to discuss ways to make your girlfriend or wife feel better shortly before or during her period. Let’s face it, most men rather avoid a woman while she is menstruating and that is too bad, because we should not ditch our second half just because she’s bleeding between her legs. Some men are opposed to my way of thinking, “being there for the girl” and rather, feel that they are more of a help if they just stay out of the way. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and every girl is different on how she wants to be treated or what makes her feel good. However, this entry will cover some things I feel might be ways you can help comfort your partner. There is no “definitive” way to make her feel good and I can’t say this will work for every girl, but these are things for guys (or girls) to consider. Remember that your commitment to your girlfriend or wife should be just-cause not to feel that you don’t need to be a part of her life every week of a month.
I recently typed up an answer for Yahoo! Answers to any inquiry from a male about what he can say/do for his girlfriend while she is on her period and here’s my reply. It was chosen as the “Best Answer” so I decided it’d be good enough to be reposted:
Best Answer – Chosen by Voters
Really, words mean nothing at a time like that. Also, saying sorry is like something you say at a funeral or something. You shouldn’t be sorry or feel sorry for her that she’s having her period, it is a normal bodily function. Sorry also implies negativity towards periods and it should be necessary that men and women do not view menstruation as some kind of “bad” thing. Take some time to understand her period from both an anecdotal (from her experience) and educational point of view, use books, magazines, articles, online, etc. to find information pertaining to her body and menstruation.
You can’t make the pain she’s going through better, since it is her body, but you can do things that will make her as comfortable as she can be. If she has cravings, let her have it, there’s nothing worse than resisting a craving because all that does is cause crankiness. If there’s something she asks you to do and it’s reasonable, try to accommodate her. A massage, warm bath and just being there for her will do more for her than anything you can say – because actions are what matters. If she’s still capable of going about, take her to do an activity which removes her attention away from her period/pain. While initially she might feel that the pain is disabling her from concentrating on the activity, show enthusiasm, get her into it so she’s not constantly thinking about the pain. I cannot say that this will remove the pain, but it makes no difference whether she’s crunched up and feeling the pain or whether she’s doing something and still feeling it.
Actively helping her out in things she would normally do would help take the stress of her “thinking about her responsibilities”.. if there’s things that need to be done around the house, do it. Your sole goal is to make her feel as relaxed as possible because stress will compound the pain she feels. Helping her feel at-ease will provide a form of stress-relief which will relax muscle tension and potentially reduce the pain (or at least not make it worse).
Let her fall asleep in your arms, skin-to-skin contact with someone she cares about is an excellent psychological relief. Just be remember that you have to be understanding and sometimes be willing to bite your tongue. It doesn’t mean you should AVOID her, but menstruation is very taxing on the body, mind and is triggered by flares of hormones. It is possible she might be more sensitive to things you say or do, especially things that would not normally trigger negative emotions.
If you two are ready to engage in sexual activities, I should suggest to you that one of the best natural pain-relievers for cramps or otherwise painful periods is an orgasm. You can either allow her to do that on her own, or do it for her. She might be resistant to it, but mind you she will be glad afterward because many girls report that an orgasm or sexual stimulation helps alleviate their cramps.
Lucky for you, part of the site I run is “menstruation basics for men” – something that you might be particularly interested in if you are not sure what you can do for your girlfriend while she is on her period. It is menstruation simplified for guys (without gory details) but gives you a good understanding of what menstruation is about. There are also helpful tips on what YOU can do as a boyfriend with contributions from myself, other authors and female posters.
Here’s the most important thing you can say to her, “How can I help you?” … only she will know what you can do to make her feel best!